And that`s pretty much the extent of my German.

But perhaps I’m being a little hard on myself — after all, my repertoire also includes the oft-repeated phrase “You have big nipple boners” — thanks to a field hockey billet from Cologne that stayed with us during the summer of Grade 11. (No, I don’t remember how it came up in the first place, or why it was important enough for me to commit to long-term memory — but it’s been in there for 20+ years, so I figure it must have been very funny at the time).

Oh yeah…I can also count to (or down from) 10.

So, come to think of it, for a Canadian of non-German descent, I’m actually pretty well kitted-out when it comes to the language of the Vaterland.  I can indulge my habit for thinly sliced cucumber and red onion marinated in a slightly sweet vinegary dressing, fit right in with the guys at the Munich Hooters and order enough jugs (of lager) to keep my new friends happy during Oktoberfest.

Life’s most important situations — covered. Continue reading →